Valentine's Day
You know, I have always wondered how different being a guy would be from being a girl. Sure girls get to choose between putting on make-up and not putting on makeup, wearing skirts or pants, have dangly earring or not have dangly earrings.
Girls have all the choices. But boys have it better.
Boys get to do all the things girls aren't normally allowed to.
Boys get to stay overnight at a friend's place with 10 other guys. Girls have to ask her parents, at the right time, and even then it could very well be a 'no'.
Boys get to stay out until 2am, then take public transport home together. Girls hardly ever get to stay out until 12, and have to wait for their parents to come fetch them.
But whatever. It is not important. Because "My Momma Says", sick perverts are always on the lookout for young girls.
But you know what makes being a guy so much easier?
Boys get to do romantic things for girls, while girls have to wait for guys to do romantic things for them.
Yeah I know, very 'lao tu', right?
Valentine's Day isso so near today, and admit it, girls can, at most, make cards, bake cakes, create handmade gifts, and cook for a guy. And that is considered romantic enough. But there are so many other things that guys get to do!
Here, my fellow blog browsers, is the lost of Things I'd Do If I Were A Guy:
Write a song for Girl
I'd write the most awesome song ever. Accompanied by the most hauntingly beautiful melody. And I'd sing it to her, and it'd so totally floor her. And if I can't come up with a decent melody, which I really can't, then I'd ask my song-writing friend to come up with one for me. And if worse comes to worst, and I don't have a good song-writing friend who can write melodies and keep a secret (Girl can never know Hauntingly Beautiful Melody wasn't written by me), or if I don't have a good song-writing friend period, then I'd just write the most make-your-heart-cry set of lyrics ever, do without the melody, and call it a poem. Good eh?
Because not everybody has had songs written about, or for, them.
Make a scrapbook for Girl
I dunno, I just love scrapbooks. So I just assume all girls like scrapbooks. Especially the messy, very-full-looking ones. I'd fill them with all the photos and bits of memory pieces of, who else, ourselves la.
Actually, girls making scrapbooks, really isn't anything special.
But guys making scrapbooks.. is something.
So if I were a guy, I'd make one.
Light up fireworks for Girl
Okay, so this is not an original idea. A friend of mine would probably start nodding her head half-aggressively, and go, "Yeah, YEAH! Copy!"
This is not my own idea, but it is on my list, because it is just so so romatic.
If I were a guy, I'd ask Girl out at night, and I'd surprise her with 5 minutes of the most amazing fireworks display ever. And at the end, she'd so totally be crying.
Not out of sadness that I've wasted a thousand RM's on the fireworks, but because she was so moved emotionally. Mm-hmm.
Make feel-good home video for Girl
Record it. I'd record myself telling her just how much she means to me (remember, if I were a GUY!), and I'd try and sound sweet, but not too Sweet, 'cause then it might not sound very Honest. Still, sweet enough to floor her.
And I'd make it funny, too. No one wants to watch something that gives them goosepimples. 'Funny' would be just right to balance out the 'Sentimental'.
Because everybody needs to be told that they're worth something. Everybody needs a Feel-Good CD/ tape/ movie-file-in-computer, for watching during those 'down' times.
Sing Savage Garden's I Knew I Loved You
Why that song leh? Because it is so obviously the most beautiful love song ever.
MOST BEAUTIFUL.
So beautiful in fact, you can forget about everything else on that list. Just sing this song, and she'd so totally melt, and she'd forget you didn't even buy her a card.
Yeah.
I knoo I loh-ved yoo, befoh I met yoo!
But I'm not a guy, so yeah.
By the way, Ker Lei had brought on the idea that Valentine's Day is absolutely, positively, so very-very commercialized. So much worse than Christmas even.
Yeah. With all the Rm100++ Valentine's Day set meals, Rm100++ soft toys (like, did you read it? RM900 pink bear!), RM100++ Valentine's bouquet, RM100++ everything, how can you not call it 'milking-money-out-of-consumers'?
Girls have all the choices. But boys have it better.
Boys get to do all the things girls aren't normally allowed to.
Boys get to stay overnight at a friend's place with 10 other guys. Girls have to ask her parents, at the right time, and even then it could very well be a 'no'.
Boys get to stay out until 2am, then take public transport home together. Girls hardly ever get to stay out until 12, and have to wait for their parents to come fetch them.
But whatever. It is not important. Because "My Momma Says", sick perverts are always on the lookout for young girls.
But you know what makes being a guy so much easier?
Boys get to do romantic things for girls, while girls have to wait for guys to do romantic things for them.
Yeah I know, very 'lao tu', right?
Valentine's Day is
Here, my fellow blog browsers, is the lost of Things I'd Do If I Were A Guy:
Write a song for Girl
I'd write the most awesome song ever. Accompanied by the most hauntingly beautiful melody. And I'd sing it to her, and it'd so totally floor her. And if I can't come up with a decent melody, which I really can't, then I'd ask my song-writing friend to come up with one for me. And if worse comes to worst, and I don't have a good song-writing friend who can write melodies and keep a secret (Girl can never know Hauntingly Beautiful Melody wasn't written by me), or if I don't have a good song-writing friend period, then I'd just write the most make-your-heart-cry set of lyrics ever, do without the melody, and call it a poem. Good eh?
Because not everybody has had songs written about, or for, them.
Make a scrapbook for Girl
I dunno, I just love scrapbooks. So I just assume all girls like scrapbooks. Especially the messy, very-full-looking ones. I'd fill them with all the photos and bits of memory pieces of, who else, ourselves la.
Actually, girls making scrapbooks, really isn't anything special.
But guys making scrapbooks.. is something.
So if I were a guy, I'd make one.
Light up fireworks for Girl
Okay, so this is not an original idea. A friend of mine would probably start nodding her head half-aggressively, and go, "Yeah, YEAH! Copy!"
This is not my own idea, but it is on my list, because it is just so so romatic.
If I were a guy, I'd ask Girl out at night, and I'd surprise her with 5 minutes of the most amazing fireworks display ever. And at the end, she'd so totally be crying.
Not out of sadness that I've wasted a thousand RM's on the fireworks, but because she was so moved emotionally. Mm-hmm.
Make feel-good home video for Girl
Record it. I'd record myself telling her just how much she means to me (remember, if I were a GUY!), and I'd try and sound sweet, but not too Sweet, 'cause then it might not sound very Honest. Still, sweet enough to floor her.
And I'd make it funny, too. No one wants to watch something that gives them goosepimples. 'Funny' would be just right to balance out the 'Sentimental'.
Because everybody needs to be told that they're worth something. Everybody needs a Feel-Good CD/ tape/ movie-file-in-computer, for watching during those 'down' times.
Sing Savage Garden's I Knew I Loved You
Why that song leh? Because it is so obviously the most beautiful love song ever.
MOST BEAUTIFUL.
So beautiful in fact, you can forget about everything else on that list. Just sing this song, and she'd so totally melt, and she'd forget you didn't even buy her a card.
Yeah.
I knoo I loh-ved yoo, befoh I met yoo!
But I'm not a guy, so yeah.
By the way, Ker Lei had brought on the idea that Valentine's Day is absolutely, positively, so very-very commercialized. So much worse than Christmas even.
Yeah. With all the Rm100++ Valentine's Day set meals, Rm100++ soft toys (like, did you read it? RM900 pink bear!), RM100++ Valentine's bouquet, RM100++ everything, how can you not call it 'milking-money-out-of-consumers'?
isthisme exuded garlic breath at 5:45 AM
