Are you Happy now?

Honestly? I feel so contented with things right now.

Before this I was wishing I'd taken A-Level instead of SAM, only because I had so much time on my hands and I couldn't imagine my friends being in college, learning things, while I lazed at home / had a boring job.

When Yee Phang was talking about her new-found canggih dentistry knowledge, or when Fui was talking about how stressed she was over the looming A2 exams, I realized how much I missed the schooling environment.

I mean, given the opportunity, I'd love to spend my entire life in school, learning exciting things I'd never known before.

And for that reason, I can't wait to go to university. (Err, or in my case, more "college" than "university".)

Okay so I missed the learning environment. The books, the exam preparations, the huge group of people sitting in the same four-walls.

So I tried out as a temporary teacher. And after the first week I was totally at my wits end, trying to control 40 overzealous primary school kids. Plus the pay was pathetic.

I remember being at 1 Utama with my sister and seeing a "Hiring Now" sign outside a clothes shop, and was so tempted to go in and give it a try and drop my teaching job.

I mean, no screaming at 9-year-olds, no marking school books, best of all, better pay.

But I held on to my exhausting job as class teacher of one of the rowdiest Standard 3 class (mostly because I am too proud to say that I have given up), and boy am I glad I stayed on!

You wouldn't believe how the little things these kids do can make you feel so good about yourself. Maybe it's 'cause I'm the only person in the teachers' quarters whose first digit of my age is still a "1", and I look less of a threat than the 40-year-old grumpy-looking teachers, but these kids aren't afraid of me.

The bad is very obviously that they don't take it seriously when you threaten to punish them if they don't behave. (Okay, threatening is not good, but it's the only way with an entire class of boisterous kids.) And it makes handling them so much more difficult. Plus I vowed never to be one of those teachers who eternally have a rotan in hand.

The good, though, is that they see you as a "one of them", they come and talk to you about silly stuff, they call out "Ling lao shi!!!" and wave enthusiastically at you all the way from the third floor, and best of all (most ego-stroking one la), is when you change classes for a week then have to change back, the classes you're leaving say "yerr" and the ones you are teaching again cheer when you walk in.

Let me tell you about the highlight (so far la) of my teaching stint!

There's this small Indian boy in my class, who was shy. Okay, that was an understatement. He was so quiet, that no one has ever heard his voice. It's cause he never talks, he only nods / shakes his head, and when the need arises, he whispers.

While his classmates are more or less competent with 3-digit division, he cannot even recite the 2-times-table. I gave them a little test and found out that he couldn't even do "7 - 4 = 3". I think their original class teacher (who is giving birth and is thus not here) has given up on him, and according to the rest of the class, would cane him all the time. I suspect that only served to terrify him, I mean c'mon, this kid is reserved enough already!

So during a double-maths lesson I gave them exercises and had them do peer tutoring. I had two boys teach the little Indian boy (err whom I shall hereafter refer to as "IB"), and what took place that day was a breakthrough on many levels. It was a breakthrough for the class, the little IB, and for myself.

Little IB actually started speaking!

It was such a huge accomplishment!

The two boys whom I assigned to teach IB came running to me and went, "Lao shi, IB jiang hua! Ta jiang ta ge ge something something!" (LOL for the benefit of my non-Mandarin-speaking friends, "Teacher, IB spoke! He said his brother something something!") I can't remember lah. They also went, "Teacher, did you know IB is very good at drawing??"

At the end of the week, IB managed to recite the 1, 2 and 3 times table! (All that with tremendous help from his classmates, and without me whipping out a cane!)

I had the privilege of getting a bit of insight to the profound maturity that 9-year-olds possess when the guy who'd spent the whole double-maths period teaching IB came to me when I was about to leave and said, "Teacher, you know why IB didn't speak before? Because he didn't have confidence. Now we friend him and he has confidence, so that is why he spoke."

I was like, WHOA.

It was the last period, and when they were all carrying their bags and leaving class the kids started going, "Bye IB!!" And IB would wave back at them.

The next day, I got a drawing from IB that he'd done at home. Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars (I think). I showed it to some of his classmates and they were like, WAHHH.

I was smiling all the way as I walked to my car! It just felt so good.

(LOL I'm sure a few people have heard this, err, "story" before, but I always made a joke out of it, for humour purposes, but it actually has another dimension to it, now ya know.)

I also got to see how peer support can so help someone.

I started teaching a new chapter, Fractions, and made sure to especially hold IB's attention by using him in examples, and it seemed to work, 'cause when I drew him his "birthday cake" on the board, cut it into 4, shaded one piece and asked him to come out and write it out in fractions, he did. He actually got it right!

And you wouldn't believe what happened.

The entire class erupted in applause!

No kidding! Usually these kids would very enthusiastically volunteer to come out, and when I call someone else and not them, they grumble and go, "Yerrrr, teacher I want laaaa!" A bit selfish like that la. But when IB came out and someone complained, the rest of the class shushed him, going, "Let IB do la!"

And they applauded when he got it right.

It was a beautiful moment.

Imagine, a totally reserved kid who couldn't do single-digit subtractions, can now do fractions!

IB gave me a second drawing that he did, one of an admittedly somewhat lopsided Popeye.

This will sound very cliched, but here goes - there is so much satisfaction in knowing that you actually helped someone. You helped a little kid understand/know what he didn't understand/know before. It's unbelievable.

I love my temporary job.

I mean, seriously, they could come and say, "We're cutting your (already meagre) pay in half", and I'd still continue. I realize I really only want to avoid wasting away at home, getting paid is an added extra, plus I'm only using the money so I can pay for appropriate winter / college clothing on my own. I have ultimately chosen to turn down the scholarship and go for the more expensive school, and I'm a bit guilty for burning my parents' money like that. (Not guilty enough to reverse my decision, as you can see!)

Things are really looking up, you know.

I haven't got homework, haven't got exams to lose sleep over, but at the same time I'm still working in a schooling environment. I have nothing to worry about, nothing to be anxious over. I have my place secured at a college I love, and my future is set. In four months I'll be flying off to a land so far away, and I'll learn things so new and exciting. Until then all I have to do is make sure a loud group of 9-year-olds do their homework right and are prepared for their school exams. I'm surrounded by adorable (though sometimes annoying) little kids, and though I'm exhausted by the end of the day, I still love it.

There's nothing amazingly exciting happening in my life. The highlight of my day is when I'm in the car in the evening, going home after a tiring day of teaching, being stuck in the usual evening sea of cars, and listening to music really loud.

I forgot how much I love turning the volume up really high.

Years ago, there wasn't a time when I listened to music that the volume wasn't completely pumped up. I remember that one time, Grace came to my place to study for PMR, and I went down to the porch without turning off the music. I was completely shocked that from the front gate, I could hear the music that was coming all the way from my room! Not just the music, mind, but you could also hear the lyrics.

I stopped turning the volume up so loud then. Of course, then there were things like iPods and headphones, so my neighbours were probably really pleased.

Which is why I love driving alone. You get to turn the music up as loud as you like, and sing along, and it is SO LOVELY. I mean, you're there alone, in your own little world, enveloped in the music that you like.

Somehow, with passengers in the car, normal-volume music suddenly seems so conspicuously loud, like its volume is amplified 10 times.

Sometimes I stay in the car just a bit longer after I've arrived at my destination, just to listen a bit more.

And that, my fellow blog-readers, is the joy of life.

Having yourself enveloped in music that you absolutely love.

I am Happy.

Teaching, and all greared up for learning!

So this 9-year-old came up to me and asked me this: If I saw a RM5 note and a RM10 note on the floor, which would I pick up?

"I dunno," I replied. "Which do you think I should pick up?"

"PICK UP BOTH!! HAHAHAHA!!!"

And then all the other 9-year-olds around us laughed like it was the funniest joke evaaarrrr.


So odd right, these kids?


Then there's this other time when I was explaining 3-digit-number division, and this boy suddenly came out to me, pulled me close and whispered, "I need to tell you a joke."

Notice he said "need".

I told him to wait until I'm done with my explanation, but he shook his head and went, "No, I have to tell you now!"

So fine lor, I asked him what it was.

"Oh you know just now, I was taking the newspapers to the recycling corner, then it started raining, and I had to put the newspaper on my head and RUUUUNNN!!!!"

And then he started laughing his head off.

I was like, WTF?


These kids seem to really love jokes, judging by the times they went, "lao shi wo you xiao hua gen ni jiang!"

But not a single one of their jokes were actually funny.

Sigh, generation gap, generation gap. Ten years older, too old to understand the humour.


Okay you could've guessed by now I've gotten myself involved with a little too much than I can handle.

Yup, I'm a class teacher for a Standard 3 class.

You know every time there's a riot going on somewhere, they'd show up on the newspapers, and in the picture there'd be these protesters/riot-instigators who seem to be screaming their heads off? Then there'd be the police trying to restrain these screaming people?

In a typical schooling day, these kids are the screaming, havoc-creating people. And I'm the exasperated police.

I've always thought being a teacher would be fun, my sister and I used to play "Teacher-Teacher" all the time, and I'd ALWAYS be the teacher. So I figured it'd be cool to work as a temporary teacher while I wait till I go off to the States.

It's pretty cool la actually, even though sometimes they annoy you greatly because they can never sit still. It's like they're sitting on hot woks - the minute they sit down, they just have to stand up again.

But it's cool 'cause sometimes they are so adorable!

Like when they tell those un-funny jokes, I laugh with them not because I understand their weird humour, but 'cause I find them so cute! There's this little girl who sits right in front of the teacher's desk, and every time I catch her eye she'd smile at me so sweetly, I completely melt.

Still, I wouldn't want to do something like this long-term. When they say teachers are the most stressed, they sho' ain't kiddin'! And my time here is only a tiny fraction of the time the permanent teachers have been here.

But like I said, I think teaching is fun, and I'm only doing it for a few months.

* * * * *

Okay so. I haven't been updating because... well because I haven't the mood for it. I was in the middle of the most agonizing, horrendous waiting game.

College admission decisions were coming in!

They trickled in so slowly, every day felt like a century. The whole waiting period spanned something like, 3 weeks? I dunno.

I've been emailing a couple of people (who were also waiting) back and forth, basically just updating each other, complaining / freaking out together.


Anyway. I remember talking to ZiHui (and one time it was in the middle of the night) and freaking out because I was worried I wouldn't be accepted anywhere.

So I'm happy to say -- I'm accepted somewhere!

LOL okay, a few somewheres.

It's been a pretty headache-inducing process which I never want to go through again (but I'd probably have to go to graduate school). The months before my SAM finals going through college websites, requesting view books, doing research research research, and eventually finalizing my list of Schools To Apply To.

Then it was the standardized testing. Pretty shitty.

Then the shittiest part - the actual applying. The loooong list of essays (nightmare x 1000), the chasing after lecturers who keep forgetting about my recommendations.

Then there was the waiting stage. My first decision was a rejection, by the way. Way to start this stage, huh.

And now that I've heard back from almost all my schools, it's the final (and frankly the most enjoyable) stage - the deciding of which school I'd attend.


My parents, who have resigned to the fact that they have never heard of a single liberal arts college that I applied to, haven't done a whole lot of research on LACs. Which is why the US News rankings have been their yardstick for measuring how "good" a school is. It's a tad annoying when I tell them I'm accepted somewhere, and the first thing my dad asks is, "What is it ranked?"

So anyway.

I've a decision to make - school that I reeeeaaaally love, that is a perfect fit for me (and basically I cannot imagine being anywhere other than here), or school that is lower-ranked, but has offered me a $60,000 merit award? $60,000 is a lot. Like, a lot.

My dad is implying that I should go to the cheapest school. Well of course, he's the one paying.

I actually thought colleges would be more generous (the most expensive school was too stingy to give me proper aid. Cheh, not on the top of my list anyway).

Oh well.

Sucks being so dependant on financial aid.


But really, all I wanna say is this - at least I'm going somewhere!

I don't have anything against Malaysian education, it's just that nothing that is offered here tickles my interest. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. Like, if you pressure me into choosing a course, I'd probably choose something like Mass Communications, but I'm only choosing it because it seems the least boring of all the other courses offered, not that I find it particularly interesting.

But when I look at the websites/viewbooks of liberal arts colleges, I get so excited. I mean, the possibilities are endless! I was looking at the list of First-Year Seminar classes for 2007 on the website of one of the colleges that accepted me, and I feel a bit like when I'm at a favourite restaurant and I'm looking at the menu - every thing looks so exciting I cannot pick a favourite!

It feels like you're attending classes because you're there to learn. This is where learning for learning's sake comes to mind. It's completely different from diving into any course in Malaysia, where you're basically being job-trained.

I'm really excited, can you tell?

LOL okay err bye-bye!


(I have a bad throat now from all the shouting over the heavy rain to make myself heard during class.)