"Someone save us Heeeeaaaaven heeelp us nooow!"

I take my words back.

It's very nice to see so many ex-CHSians in college.

Sometimes it's nice to be able to fall back on something (someone?) familiar.

And it's way cool how your primary school friends (there were so many of them!) and your high school friends are now classmates, so everyone now knows everyone else, no introductions needed!

How many times have "Umm.. Chooiyen right?! Remember meeee?" been delieverd to me since I started college?

Like I said, way cool. =)

* * * * *

I dunno why people are going, "Go to TAR college la! So cheap!"

I know it's sponsored by MCA and all, so doing A-Levels there you'd only have to pay 1/4 of what you pay at other private colleges, but surely with RM20k difference in fees, there'd be a pretty significant difference in education quality as well?

Two of my cousins studied there, both of them complained about lecturers not being able to speak proper english and practically just reading off the books.

But at least my cousins' moms won't put them on guilt trips.

"Chooiyen what I'm paying for your 11-month course is what the clerk at my office earns in a year so you better study hard no fooling around like for SPM - MUST DO HOMEWORK!"

* * * * *

You know, despite my sister being a complete brat, who finds joy in ratting on me, who thoroughly enjoys making me mad (this she said herself, "Zeng nei zhong fo hou song ah!"), she's not so bad after all.

I found out just yesterday (while we were out celebrating my dad's birthday) that this annoying sister of mine actually walked around, going to every single CD shop prior to my birthday, trying to get me that Taking Back Sunday album.

None of the shops had it, so she had to settle with a Nickelback one.

And to think, I was all irritated that day and thinking, "What is taking her so long?"

* * * * *

Have you ever missed your bus twice in a row?

The first time because you reached the bus stop 3 seconds late, the second time because you were busy fiddling with iPod/going through time table figuring out which homework you can skip tonight/plain day-dreaming, and the bus comes, stops, and drives off without you realizing it?

Very sien.

40 minutes wasted like that.

* * * * *

MUSE!

Right before a whole bunch of Common Tests somemore.

How how how how how?

Roach.

What do you do when there is a cockroach in your room?

You scream for your mom.


What do you do when your mom says she's "too tired from work" and isn't being very helpful?

You leave the room and come back 10 minutes later, hoping the roach would've left the room.


What do you do when it hasn't budged at all?

You poke and prod it with a stick.


What happens when it finally leaves (thank God) and you need to go to sleep but you're just too paranoid about it coming back in from under the door?

You build a mini fort.

Like this.

My sister, not I.

Preferably with books you're never going to have to touch again.

Um, in case you'd ever need to know.

* * * * *

Our neighbours just moved out, and they left the house looking pretty run down.

The wooden boards are being eaten up by termites, and I think the mites are migrating from the neighbour's place to our place.

Insects and the like, urgh.

Eighteen.

I turned 18!

I get to watch non-'Umum' movies without trying to look adult to get past the cinema people who guard the entrance to non-'Umum' movies.

We were playing Truth Or Dare once, someone dared me to go buy a packet of cigarrettes, and the lady shopkeeper wouldn't let me. But I am 18 now!

And according to a friend, I can finally commit adultery! Um, I don't think he knows what 'adultery' is.


Milestone milestone milestone!


Was a wonderful birthday by the way, I got to have 3 cakes =)

Blueberry cheese from the loveliest bunch of friends ever, tiramisu from my classmates, Chocolate Indulgence from my mom and dad.



Thanks to the people who remembered and bothered to celebrate with me,
thanks to the people who remembered and bothered to send me greetings,
thanks to the people who didn't remember but was told about it and still bothered to send me greetings (don't think I cannot tell!).

Special thanks to DT8, for a wonderful Saturday.

Special thanks to friend-in-NS who called from Terengganu last night, despite running low on phone credits.

Special thanks to YeeWan and RuYuan for setting that surprise up, despite the fact that it was only my first week of joining G10.


Oh did I mention? I switched to SAM.

Ignoring the fact that I sitll have not found a suitable topic for the very important Investigative Studies, I am very, very happy that I'm doing SAM. I can tell I'm going to enjoy the class and the coursework. No regrets there!

* * * * *

I'm starting to show signs of KhengSaik-ism. (With Kheng Saik being my brother who is now applying into his 3rd university because he found the first two unsuitable).

He's 5 years older than me, but with all the time he's wasted, and with him starting all over again at his new U, I'm only a year behind him now (when it comes to studies la).

But like my parents have said (I think they're trying to console themselves and the hole in their bank account), "At least now he has found what he really wants."

So it took him 4 years, but at least now he knows his passion lies in sculpting.

So it took me being enrolled in 3 different classes, but at least I know I love doing SAM.

Eheh.

I cannot imagine how sien my parents are, what with my bro switching to this and that, and me making my dad come to college to switch classes/courses twice.

* * * * *

Regarding that ShihTzu birthday wish, I'm not getting it after all.

We were in the car when I brought it up, which caused my mom to start complaining how my sister never bathes her cat, which lead to my sister complaining how my mom always say she doesn't bathe her cat when in fact she bathes Puss "so often".

So in the end everyone was in a bad mood, and I think they were mad at me for bringing the subject up.

Too bad.

* * * * *

[CL update]
She's having a lot of fun doing National Service. She's gaining weight despite doing hours of rigorous physical activities everyday, and that's 'cause they have 7 meals a day.
And they get to go to the kedai kopi at night. How nice.


* * * * *

A little bit of info I have no where else to insert into -

Did you know, a meal at McDonald's in KLCC (for 5 people only okay) can cost up to RM80?

For that amount, we could've have a better meal at a proper restaurant.


And the Prosperity Burger wasn't even nice.

Insignificant tidbit.

Recieved a short letter from ChuanLing-in-NS.

She was asking me WHY LAH I told her NS was fun because apparently you had more difficulties than actual fun, and you have (quote CL) "yellow yellow black black food everyday".

She didn't have a bed the first night she arrived, and the Malays were staring at her "like she was an alien".

She also has an irrational fear of being murdered during NS.

No one else but CL, I tell you!

I'm starting to miss her already.


(Mark my words though, she'll be crying-and-hugging when the time comes to leave camp.)





























































































.

Don't read if you hate emotional posts.

Back in Form 3, I did so badly in one of my Geography exams, the teacher had to call out my name (along with a few others) to tell us to "work harder".

I felt very stupid then.

In Form 4, I failed my add maths exam, with a 37/100.

I felt even more stupid then.



Maybe it's just my class in college, maybe I'm just not prepared yet, but I've never, never felt so stupid in my entire life.

I could sit in class, and feel like if I were to start answering questions, everyone would know how completely stupid I am.

I'd take 5 mins just to comprehend the problem - they'd take 5 minutes to solve it.

It's hard not to feel inferior to them. And it's only the first week.




Now, if I were to opt out of this course, it'd mean only one thing - that I'm recognizing myself as a failure, that I know excelling is beyond my capabilities.

But if I soldier on with it, I'd die worrying how I'd do in the final exam.

Regarding how it's 100% exam-based, as a friend put it, "As Malaysians, we're groomed for that."



But my problem is, I'd die if I don't get enough A's. (Very Malaysian kiasu thinking, very sad, I know.)

Everyone knows it's that hard to get good grades in A Levels.

I was so afraid of not getting 8A's for PMR, I actually wrote myself a letter a night before the results were out, just in case I'd get so deppressed over unsatisfactory results.

Half an hour before the announcement, I bought myself two packets of tissues, just in case.


I've already started having sleepless nights worrying over my SPM results ever since last month.

Occasionally I'd bring it up and say ,"Eh SPM results really scared la" and someone would ask me to shut up or else.



Point is, I'd like to think this isn't for me, because I cannot cope with the pressure of having your future determined within that few hours of examination.

Did you know I felt so sick and was on the verge of puking during the first day of SPM?

I cannot stand the whole "DO GOOD NOW OR DIE LATER" thing.



It's a very stupid thing to be going through, all the worrying and all, because everyone knows exam results aren't everything, but the sad thing is, I'm not good in sports, I don't publish books, nobody reads what I write, people laugh when I try to draw, so what else do I have left?

Get A's.

Aim for medicine, because eventhough you know it's never what you wanted before, at least it'd make you seem that much smarter, 'cause stupid people don't do medicine.

Aim for medicine because everyone in your class has aspirations of being a doctor, and you'd sound stupid if you stood up and said, "I want to be a journalist" during self-introductions.

Don't do journalism or interior designing, because everyone can do all that, but not everyone can do pharmacy or physiotherapy.

I'm aiming high, I'm aiming medicine.

But then there're people like my own mother, who tells me point blank that I'm not cut out for it.

She tells me to drop my sciences, and take up economics and law and sociology.

She says she "can tell" I'm "arts-inclined, completely not the science person".

Which is almost true, but I'm aiming high.




This, is what happens when you have low self esteem. You feel you need to do things to boost it, improve the way you see yourself.

Being in the same class with Very Clever People isn't one of those things.





























































































But really, if anyone were to ask me how do I see myself in the far future, I'd say I see myself changing the world.

I don't mind being a teacher, if I get to educate the poor.

I don't mind being a doctor, if I get to heal those who can't afford to go anywhere else for treatment.

I don't mind just being there, helping out whatever way I can.

I don't care, really.

I just want to help.



But first I gotta know what first steps to take.

And this is where the problem comes in.

I wanna dog.

I was gushing on and on about how cheap they are selling the extended versions of the Lord Of The Rings movie sets (100+ for all 3, cheap laaaahh), so my mom said she's get them for me, for my birthday.

And I thought, yes, a nice present for once!

Now I changed my mind.

Lost interest in those.

If I could choose my own present, it'd be permission to adopt a Shih Tzu.

I'm not asking her to pay for it, I'd fork out the money myself, all I need is her permission.

I have to convince her that I'd bathe it every other day (this she will not believe, thanks to my sister who never bathes her Puss), that I'd take it for walks, that I'd brush it and groom it.

And I WILL!

I'd give it a whole lotta TLC.


(Um, no this is not an impulse kind of thing!)


(It'd be better than having my stupid cat around.)

Celebration of a wonderful ending-cum-beginning

The biggest problem that comes with having my brother back from Hawaii, is that we have been having one heck of a time trying to keep up with the guy and his craving for Malaysian food.
(All he has there are mashed potatoes, burgers and - you know, american stuff.)

The good : We have good food almost every meal.

The bad : We have good food every meal. Which means we have been eating A LOT more than usual.

Sometimes we'd go out an hour after dinner for 'supper', which is actually dinner #2 with a different name.


Last night, for example, we had dinner twice - 5pm, when we were hungry, and 8pm, when we were hungry again.


But nevermind, a few extra kilos wouldn't kill.

* * * * *

From this point on, this post is going to sound like a diary of daily events. More for my own record than for anyone else's reading pleasure. I'm just saying lah.

So anyway.

We had a great Christmas eve, with a candle-lit dinner at home, full-fledged english meal.

I was told it was my fault we couldn't have turkey for dinner, because I woke up a little late (12 pm to be specific) and by the time my parents got to the market the turkeys were sold out.

But we had chicken, which isn't as good as turkey but still pretty good.

Spent Christmas at a friend's place.

I feel a little bad, because it was supposed to be a 'pillow-talk, expose-all' kind of gathering, since it was the last time we'd hang out together, what with one going for NS and another one heading overseas before that NS trainee comes back.

But I was holding back a bit, actually, holding back a lot.

I get very paiseh when I have to talk about sentimental things. Like what I told my cousin who later quoted me on it, "Chooiyen feels weird talking about these kind of things."

(I came back that day in a weird kind of funk, 'cause you know, it dawned on me that we're all moving on now, we're no longer schoolmates, by the time she comes back, most of us would be away already, so this pretty much marks the End of DT8.)

Thursday, went to CHS for my sister's PMR results.

This is where it gets interesting.

I remember going through my sister's Form 3 stuff with her right before her Exam, while my Biology textbook was open right beside me, looking all forlorn and study-deprived. SPM trials, you see.

And I remember thinking, "This had better be worth it."

So it came out that she had an A in both science and maths.

Which was a HUGE deal, because we're talking about the girl who gets 40+ for science and failed her maths. Who didn't know basic Form 1 maths three months before The Exam.

Anyway, my mom offered to pay me for giving my sister tuition classes.

To which I politely declined.

To which my mom replied, "No no, I said I'd pay you for tutoring her, so I will pay you."

Oh well. If she insists.

So right after that, we got our butts to Times Square where my brother, sister and I stayed a few nights.

I didn't think it'd be so enjoyable, but it was.

We had sushi for dinner, then went to Starbucks for supper, and later on, caught a midnight show that lasted till 2 in our pyjama shirts.

It was all easy-going, no-hurries, slack-slack-slack. Real nice.

It was kind of stupid of us not to get money from our parents.

Our lunch costed us quite a bit, and we left most of our money back at the room. I tell you, digging for money from your pockets is not a very nice sight.


But we tipped the waiter. 4 cents.

(The worst thing about the holidays is that you don't get your monthly allowance because you're not going to school, but it's also when you spend A LOT more than usual. Ironic eh.)

We spent the new year's eve at, where else, Times Square.

This time, we had our cousins with us, so that was nice also.

Bintang Walk was uber crowded, but it's not like we expected anything different.

It was completely crazy, with people going mad spraying ribbons and all that foam stuff, and my cousins being my cousins, they bought 11 cans for 30 bucks.

We only had it for 10 minutes before the cops stopped us and stripped the spray cans off us. Killjoy killjoy killjoy!

We got back to the apartment, rested a bit and worked the camera before my cousin's freshly-cut carefully-styled hair got even more de-styled by the mad celebration.


We spent the next half hour walking around Bukit Bintang trying to find the best place for the countdown, but the very second it reached 2007 and the fireworks went off, we were at the worst place possible - right under a giant tree.

But it was mad. At times, there were so many people working their sprays, it got pretty hard to breathe.

Long story short, we went back to the apartment, bathed and stayed up doing stuff till 5 something.


It wasn't exactly comfortable, what with 8 teenaged guys and girls crammed into one smallish apartment.

While the others woke up at 11.30, Chooiyen, who never wakes up before 12 unless utterly necessary, who sleeps at 4 a.m because she loves the midnight still, who takes long naps 2 hours after waking up, woke up at an outrageous hour of 9 a.m.

Hence the photo above, with everyone still asleep. 'Cept my bro lah.

Packed my stuff, cleaned up a bit, and headed for Midvalley.

Met up with a bunch of my classmates, and the ironic thing is, the guy who suggested the dinner couldn't turn up, and the guy who suggested we do lunch instead of dinner, well he was too stoned and didn't turn up either.

How stoned from the celebration can you get?

I slept at 5.30, woke up every 15 minutes throughout the night, and was still up and about at 9.

( A little bit of irrelevancy : Of the 6 who DID come, 5 were going to Taylor's. I'm telling you, save for the 2 going to INTI, 1 going to Help, 2 going to TAR, 2 going to Sunway, and one going overseas, everyone I know is off to Taylor's. -Sigh- It'd be like I never left CHS )

* * * * *

It's almost like my hair has a life of its own, y'know.

I had thought of perming it, but I was told that it'd instantly make me look aunty-ish.

I had thought of straightening it, but I had always been an anti-rebonding kind of person, so why stop now?

I had thought of highlighting it, but golden / red highlights are boring, and anything other than those two is an indication of lala-ness.

Then I realize, I don't want my hair to drop off by the time I'm 40, what with all these harsh chemicals they're subjected to, so I'd just stick with what I have and maybe shave it off when I'm in a more liberal environment.

(Two times, I tell you, I was very close to choping all my hair off. Twice.)

(That it how much I hate my hair.)

I have decided.

Yeap, I've made up my mind, finally.

I'm leaving out English Literature, and taking Physics instead.

No I did not flip a coin to come to this decision, I spent an hour researching on the net instead.

It dawned on me that Physics is required in a lot of things, and suddenly Physiotherapy sounds pretty interesting to me.

As do Astronomy.

Ditto Geophysics.

But I also want to be a journalist, an interior designer, a teacher.

See, I NEED to leave all my options open.

Who knows what weird ideas I might have later on.

Plus, Physics is my best subject among the three (you know what three).

So what if I might not need it later on, it still feels good knowing I know useless facts and formulaes like ... I dunno, E=mc(squared), or something.

For an entire week I've been having debates with myself whether to go for National Service or not, then whether to go for SAM or A-Level, now that I've registered for the latter, I've taken another week debating whether to do EngLit or Physics.

Now I've made up my mind.

No changing anymore please.

* * * * *

I've done my new year's post, I just need to put up the photos, and goodness knows how long THAT will take.

No, I don't intend on posting up a lot of photos, I just hate having to upload whatever few I decide to upload.

As for the lack of updates, I just didn't feel like it.