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Very late liao, but nevermind - Happy new year!

Err I almost chose to forgo new year celebrations. Which is the most stupid thing to do, multiplied by 10.

It was so wonderful, that night.

We were at a somewhat non-strategic place when the clock struck 12, so that we didn't even realize it was 12 until the fireworks went off and people started screaming.

(Dunno who, went, "No la! Not yet 12! See my watch!" and poked at her watch. Who again ah? In denial sial.)


I was a taaad disappointed we didn't get to countdown (for we had noisemakers and glowsticks and poppers and all that jazz, given to us free by the restaurant we ate in).

So that very moment 2007 became 2008, the bunch of us were sitting on the pavement, marah-ing The Ling for wasting one of the poppers. (Those were weird poppers that don't work anyway. They failed on me also, those take-guna things.)

So I had on this "Aiyoh" sort of look on me, then The Ling went, "Nevermind what. At least we had each other when it happened."

Which is so, so true!

So. Much later in the night, right, Fui sent me this text message, cheering our 6 years of friendship.

Imagine! Since form 1 eh. Somehow I'm no longer worried about us going to US/Singapore/Aussie next year because I know know know what I can count on is that these people will never leave me behind. We'd still be as tight as ever!


I went to this Chinese wedding dinner last night, and there were these two Ah-Poh, trying to relive their younger years I think, they started singing with the mic on stage. And they danced.

They sang very horribly, they danced like drunken monkeys, and no one at my table was paying them much notice, except for myself.

'Cause they remind me so much of us! Especially during our er, karaoke sessions.

I remember there was one time, we turned off the lights so it was almost completely dark save for the glow from the TV screen, and started singing to 'Nsync's Bye Bye Bye, and trying to dance like 'Nsync what the heck!

Then everybody got really high and crowded in front of the TV. There were a bunch of us, but only 2 microphone, and I was sharing one of the mics with somebody.

But like I said, too high, right? So people started getting really possessive of the microphones, 'cause everyone wanted to scream into them, until one girl had her mic snatched away from her, and in a fit of rage (or she just too blur la, I dunno which) she went ahead and pulled the microphone's jack out from the TV.

Damn funny, man.

After the song was over and the lights were turned on, the girl who did the snatching of mic went, "Eh? Mic come out already? No wonder no sound la!"

She said she realized she couldn't hear herself sing.

Who is who, your guess!


I don't really know what I'm talking about I'm just typing as I go pardon me.

* * * * *

In all geng-chao-ness, I stayed up all night, just to finish off my applications.

Emphasis on all night.

As in come back from wedding dinner, bathe, go straight to work till 12 noon the next day.
(12 noon because the absolute deadline is 12.59 pm our time, i.e. 11.59 pm US eastern time. I am such a last-minute person!)

Can you believe ah?

This basically comes from unchecked procrastination, and from wanting to go ahead and enjoy myself even though I know perfectly well my app essays are not done yet.

And also from applying to 11 colleges. (Not kiasu. Quite on the contrary. Too insecure to apply to less.)

Made it in time for Jan 1 deadline, now there are colleges with more essays with Jan 15 deadline die die die I haaaate.


I don't care la. I'm applying to Singapore Unis. Applying to US is too cumbersome, might not get accepted somemore, what's the point.

Did you know for National University Singapore, you just fill in an online form (simple form, no CommonApp shit) and send in copies of school transcripts (no counselor rec, teachers rec, school reports what shit what shit)?


Hoo.


After-effects of serious lack of sleep. Pardon me.

My biological clock is as screwed as a cork in a wine bottle. For the past month I've been sleeping at 5, 6, 7 am.

I cannot help it - it's the only time I get a little peace and quiet at home.

Most other times you just get a Mother nagging, a Father watching Astro with the volume turned up too high, plus a Sister watching NTV7/8TV while talking to the (characters in the) television.

Damn noisy la my house.

I absolutely love how quiet it is when everyone's asleep.

Screwed up sleeping pattern doesn't bother me though, I don't have school to attend.

I repeat, NO SCHOOOOOL!

So while everyone is preparing for college/exams right now, all I do is go "no school no school" and give an annoying smirk. Oh and write @#$% essays, of course.

Looking back.

I just bought Underclass Hero!

So that's another RM46.50 gone. And just when I've managed to save a bit of money.

I was told that you could get the Malaysian edition of it for RM29.90.

But the way I see it, what's the point?

I mean, the best thing about buying/getting a new album is being able to flip through the booklet while you play the CD for the first time.

It's all very exciting.

(It's somewhat like having the very first bite off a solid chunk of chocolate. Nothing tastes better!)

Anyway, that's not the point.

While I was paying for the CD, my mom very loudly went, "I thought you don't like them anymore? You said you duwanna buy their CD....."

I then had to explain it was Linkin Park's CD I didn't like.

(Every time I get a new CD, she'd ask what band it was, and I'd say the name, and she'd go, "Never hear before wan?". But that's only 'cause all she knows is Linkin Park and SUM 41.)

I told her the only reason I hadn't gotten any SUM 41 albums lately was because they hadn't released any albums, up until now.

Which brings me to the point of this post.

How time flies.

I mean, the last time SUM 41 had their album out, I was in Form 3.

Form 3!

I would be going through the PMR Geography paper (which I thought was waaaaay hard), and I'd be staring at questions I didn't know the answer to, but my mind was doing its own countdown till the day the album would be out.

It was something like October 12th or 15th.

It could be that PMR was over on the 12th, and the album release was on the 15th.
Something like that.

See? I remember.

(I don't remember where you can find petroleum in Malaysia, or where lada hitam is planted, but I remember Chuck's release date.)

Oh, I digressed.

Lu had a recent post on her blog, and she was talking about the night all of us were in Morib.

It's very contradictory, actually.

If you think about the things we've done,
like lying under the stars, singing songs, talking about everything and nothing in particular,
or like waltzing the night away to a rock song on a special friend's birthday,
like going completely crazy in our hotel rooms during trips year after year,
or going ang pao hunting and being followed by an Indian man (either that, or we were just being paranoid)....
feels like they happened just last year.



But if you think about the amazing time we've had,
the friendship that grew and was nurtured into something extra-ly special,
the utter confidence (without the least bit of doubt) that these people will be there if ever you should falter ,
the comfort we have in each other's company,
the silence we have learnt to revel in (and sometimes, the silence proves more meaningful than words could be)...
and you think, 'What? It's only been 4.5 years?!'


It seemed so much longer.


Like I said, contradictory.




It takes you a moment to realize that we've all grown up now.

Back then, college seemed like a very very distant future. It'd take forever until we graduate from high school.

But "forever" has come and gone, all in the span of four years.


We're no longer the bunch of kids who talked so much, Pn. Ng Hui Gek had to put each of us in different corners of the classroom.

No longer are we the bunch of kids who would lock ourselves in the store room during free periods, so we could dance and play air guitars and do bad boyband imitations.

We're no longer the bunch that buys coloured paper, asks for cardboard from the canteen uncle, then goes and create a group diary detailing the little "encounters" we had with our crushes (we were so young then!)


The little feuds we had seemed so naive and insignificant now.

Till now, Fui and I still occasionally talk about that time when she had a birthday party, but didn't invite me, and I thought she was mad at me.

In fact, she didn't invite me only because she thought I was mad at her.

Form 1 kids, sigh. -Shakes head-

It makes me very proud to think of where we are now.

The celebration three years ago, after getting our PMR results, going to the CHS / Kasturi award ceremony.

The celebration few months ago, after getting our SPM results, going to the CHS / Kasturi award ceremony. Though in my case, only a half-celebration =(

SPM was like THE GOAL we were working towards, the only thing we were gearing up for the whole time we were at high school.

So getting good results, was like finally getting there.

(Though if you think about it, if it was all like the working world, and SPM results were our careers, then if we all got together later, I'd be like the housewife burdened with kids and bills, while the others are CEOs and Chief-of-Surgery's and rich investment bankers.)

Okay, bad and confusing analogy. Forget that.


Now one is a JPA scholar, on the way to become a dentist (and back then I thought JPA scholars we not human, like they're a whole step above us normal people),
one is a future psychologist in the making,
another is in Taiwan, also a future dentist......


Back then, three things scared me the most (and I mean the 'scared' that makes you have nightmares).

One, growing up.

Two, family members 'leaving'.

Three, the bunch of us being strangers one day.


Number three worried me a lot.


But we're all grown up now.

We no longer have 3-hour phone conversations going on into midnight.

We don't sit around and giggle about things like crushes, like we did when we were 13.

And once we move on to universities in some country or other next year, I wouldn't be recieving SMS-es going, "Eh, wanna go watch movie?".

Or if I were feeling weird slash sad, I wouldn't be able to call someone and have her say, "I'll be over in 10 minutes", and the next thing you know, she'd standing outside of your porch, ready to hear whatever gripe you have.


Which scares me a lot.

'Cause I wonder if I'd ever find a bunch like them again.


There was once when I was deeeep in the pits for a brief period, I was very unmotivated and had a lot of "What's the point?" kind of questions, and I looked in my mail box one day and found a handmade card inside.

A smiley-faced handmade card.

And there was a poem.


If you ever feel that you can't go on
When your life just becomes too hard
And the dreams you thought were within your reach
Suddenly seem so far
When the world is on your case
And you don't have a place to run
No matter what's bothering you
WE will be by your side
WE will be the rock that you can lean on
WE will be your guide
Like a fairy tale come true
Just reach for us
WE WILL rescue you


And when I got to the end, I was completely floored.

I felt like the luckiest person in the world then, and I wanted to slap myself for having thought otherwise.

If someone asked me how my adolescent years were, I'd answer with full conviction that it couldn't have been better.

So much more than wonderful.




Thanks for everything, you guys.

Holidays / Birthdays

Jubilaaaaaation!

Right now is the beginning of a week of no-study-all-play!

Liberty, liberty, liberty!

(And that means being able to blogging as much as you want to, despite being warned against it.)

I know, it's only a-week-plus-two-days of holiday, but I'm feeling like SPM is just over.

(But if that's how it is, then like Esther says, STPM is just round the corner!)

The dreaded trials, a few weeks away.



All things sad and upsetting (like exams) aside, today was two things -

1. According to Anggit, today's Indonesia's independance day.

2. According to the then-17-year-old Paige, today's the day she turns 18.

So we obviously had to celebrate!

Unfortunately, just as we were walking to her apartment with the cake and chocolates to surprise her, she unwittingly walked out and bump into us on the way.


She said (jokingly of course) we have zero talent in organizing a surprise birthday celebration.

I say, you didn't help us out by staying in your apartment long enough!



Her taking a photo of us, taking a photo of her.


Us taking a photo of her, taking a photo of us.

(Curi-ed from her blog, of course.)



Well, happy 18th birthday!

Now you don't have to turn away when Fatoula kisses Ian! (Not like you had to in the first place.)


What else, what else.

Oh yeah.

Merdeka Day's two weeks away.

And frankly, I cannot wait.

I am goth, but I don't look goth

Ask me not what that means, 'cause I have no idea either.

28th person, explain.

Aaaaanyway.

I've never actually had fun during teacher's day in high school, except maybe after school when I hang out with the group.

Oh waitta minute. How was teacher's day celebrated in Catholic High again?

See? Totally forgettable.

But yesterday was Taylor's UC teacher's day celebration, and boy was it fun!
(But I cannot say the same for the teachers. They looked very bored, and Mr. Yap left early.)

After the teachers left, G10 had their own fun -


Playing musical chairs!

Which I got kicked out pathetically early (hence being able to take that shot), but nevermind, success in life does not depend on whether you win in Musical Chairs.

Then there was that game where one person would run around trying to hit people with newspaper, but would always end up looking unintentionally lost and confused.

Which then led to this -

Kevin's sexy dance.


Man, he has guts.

Had a whole lot of laugh-out-loud moments that day, like when Esther asked who starred in the Sixth Sense, the 28th person went, "Neh, that other man who looks like Tom Hanks." It was Bruce Willis, actually.

Or when the 28th person tried as best as she could to open her eyes as wide as it would go, she ended up looking like she's just very curious about something.

And before the day was over, a bunch of us managed to make a trip to MidValley for a meal at Sushi King. It's amazing we haven't gotten bored of it already.

* * * * *

The past week had been the most stressful than any other week of my life had been.

Yes, even worse than that wretched SPM period during high school.

Yours would be too, if your lecturer told you that what you've been doing for the past four months were wrong, and made you redo things in one week.

Worse still if it was your FINAL version of your report, that report which constitutes 30% of your SAM english marks.

I've been skipping breaks just so I could work on the report, and I'd go home at 6pm without eating anything the entire day.

There's no time to breathe before we have to hand in our Biology final report, our chemistry report outline, and then right after, our midyear exams.

Everytime I start whining, my mom would ask, "So now you regret taking SAM?"

Let me very confidently tell you - no, I do not.

For reasons I cannot understand myself, I actually like writing reports.

And, slightly sadistic as it may sound, I actually like pushing myself to the limits like this.

There always seem to be a weird sense of accomplishment everytime I look back on a particularly stressful week/month.

Catch'a later, mah homies! Be sho' y'all check back soon, yo!

(What is the Malaysian equivalent of 'homies' again? Macha?)

A little bit of - Fun.

This temporary post-exam freedom, this ultra-short after-exam-happiness, I cannot even begin to describe how sweet it feels!

But unfortunately, after having slaved over assignments and common tests and DI and Issue analysis over the past three weeks, three weeks of not watching television, not going online for more than an hour (unless it's to find internet sources and information), when we've only just begun to revel in not having to go to sleep worrying over something or other, when we're finally able to say "Yay! Exam over! Can sleep!", we realize the cold, hard truth - the midyear exams are in three weeks' time.

Reality bites.

But when the Physics paper was being handed in today, it felt so nice, yet so horrible at the same time.

Horrible, because it was the worst paper I (and a lot others, for that matter) have ever sat for.

Nice, because heck, WE CAN HAVE PROPER SLEEP NOW!

Anyway.

A bunch of us went out to celebrate the end-of-exams.

We paid RM21 to enter the indoor theme park in Times Square ("Oh man I feel so childish!"), got on a few rides, went on the ride that rotates 360 degrees clockwise, then stops in mid air, and rotates 360 degrees anti-clockwise, figured it was too much fun, convinced a friend who was too scared before to give it a try, went on the ride an extra two times (which makes 3 in total), and ended up making ourselves feel sick.

I found it so hilarious, we paid 21 bucks expecting fun, and ended up getting ourselves sick.

But truth be told, I had an amazing time.

We went for dinner, spent hours there chatting without knowing it, took the Monorail to the Crown Plaza to check something out, and by the time I got home, it was already 10.45 pm.

And I had school the next day.

Lately I've been making a lot of impulsive decisions after school to go out to this and that place, then coming home really late, and going to school tired the next day, homework undone.

But I'm having a whole lotta fun.

College isn't as bad as I had dreaded it to be.

I couldn't believe it myself.

If there is a word that means 'SO lucky, yet SO unlucky at the same time', it'd be the best word to describe Paige right now.

Paige, my classmate who got two free Good Charlotte tickets, and was nice enough to give me one of them.

Paige, whom I was supposed to go to the concert with, and was supposed to stay over at my place right after.

Paige, who is one of the nicest person I've ever known, who'd walk home to bring you hand cream when you've got rashes, who'd get you traditional medicine for your cold, who'd always go to the campus main gate to get R.AGE for everyone, who used up at least RM10 of her credit trying to win tickets for me.

And during English today, she received a call, and there she was, talking away on the phone, completely undetected by Dr. Santha's eagle eyes. (Lucky.)

She actually won the ultra-special-very-rare-once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity to meet Good Charlotte backstage! Hah. Her first time entering a contest somemore.
(Uber lucky.)

But then she found out yesterday, that her friend from Miri (where she's from) is leaving for Aussie, and here she is, caught in a dilemma worse than any other dilemma anyone could possibly be caught in.

To see her friend off, and to skip the concert and forgo meeting Good Charlotte in person, or just go to the darn concert and risk being a bad friend?

(Uber uber uber unlucky.)

"Aiya, go to the concert la! You can see your friend online what!"
"Eh yeah! You just bought a webcam? Use webcam la!"
"Might as well go Youtube and watch Good Charlotte. Same thing."

So she's decided to go send her friend off.


I admire her so much.

Going off to KLIA meant seeing her friend for 30 minutes max, then having transport problems in coming home somemore.

Option Two meant getting to meet a huge band in person, enjoying a concert, and having transport issues all solved.

I would've been so tempted to go for Option Two, y'know.


That is Paige, the girl who could (unintentionally) make you laugh just by blinking at you. Who'd surprise you with little things you thought no one could ever be aware of. She's one of the funniest person I've known, the kind nobody could ever dislike.

Now instead of watching GC with her, I'd have to go with my sister and her friends. And her friend's brother who's there only to "pak to with his girlfriend".

Sigh.

* * * * *

I wonder how the NOFX gig went last night.

It feels as though there's always an exam just around the corner.

I thought we were family?

I am surprised.

My dad has been corresponding with my brother via email, and I'm surprised their exchanges were so darn formal.



"Hi Saik,

Further to our discussions this morning(KL time), I have had time to relook at the various options available one more time.

Considering the series of unforeseen obstacles that seem to creep up and also to avoid the possibilty (sic) of making a wrong decision in choice of colleges, it will be prudent to reconsider the merits of staying at BYU to finish your degree and then pursue your master's at a reputable college (be it Chicago or Boston or anywhere else where sculpture has a strong faculty). The advantages of doing so are quite obvious: "



And then he lists out the advantages, in bullet form.


I remember sending a bunch of CNY photos over to my bro, and all that was in my email message was "Nah, photos. Ma asked me to send."

Why all the formality and niceness? Redundant, I say!


But that is not the point.

I was reading it, thinking, Oh how nice my bro got accepted into Chicago, and then I read this -


"Chooi Yen got 9 distinctions for her SPM (nothing much to shout about as so many students got 12 A's)."


Urgh, how can I be proud of myself if my own parents say so matter-of-factly that it is nothing to shout about.

(Speaking of grades, I recieved my SAM semester 1 results in the mail today. Ironically, I fared best in Biology. I'll show you, SPM-Bio-B4!)

In case you're wondering why I'm reading what is supposed to be a Very Private Exchange Between Father and Son, my dad forwarded the mail to me, because he wants me to print out photos of my brother's torn passport that my bro has sent to him.

Yes, passport with an entire page torn off.

Only someone like my brother could achieve.

(Or as my mom would like to believe, only Hainanese people could do. She's always, always telling us, "Sap go hoi nam yan, gau goh ding. Yat goh mm ding zau fat san geng!")

(Literally tanslated, "Ten Hainanese, nine eccentric. One not eccentric, then completely crazy!")

(Something like that la.)

Burn them books!

40 people turned up at Manhattan Fish Market yesterday, and took up two looong stretches of tables.

20 people stayed for the movie, and took up two rows of seats.

It was our first class gathering, and everyone was lamenting that we should've done this earlier.

Like JoonMing said, we started acting like a class, only when we aren't really a class anymore.

Anyway.

I found out that there are people who still love Malaysia, and are not trying to get out from it the first chance they have.

To a few of my classmates, Malaysia is home, and they're like Jenny from the Pendidikan Moral paper - they're coming home no matter what.

It's nice to know their only gripe is the hot weather.

* * * * *

I'm announcing Daniel Craig as my favourite Bond actor!

You DO realize the only people who still think he's no good, are the same people who have not watched the movie yet?

So he's blond, big deal.

(Someone should've told me that when I was happily criticizing him for being blond prior to watching the film.)

I was told he had amazing abs.

I was dissappointed.

* * * * *

I am having a bad, bad, BAD case of the pre-trip jitters.

It happens everytime, one day before I leave for trips or camps.

Last week, I was anything but anxious, what with people randomly going, "Eh this time next week we'd have passed the immigration already!" or "What'd you think we'd be doing now?"

So we're leaving tomorrow!

Seeing that we're probably spending near a thousand ringgit on this, a mere 'good trip' just wouldn't cut it - we need a GREAT trip!

My camera conked out during graduation when someone dropped it on the floor with a very sickening *insert sound of camera dropping 1.5 m to the floor*.

Being the procrastinator that I am, I brought it out for fixing just yesterday, and it couldn't be fixed in time for tomorrow.

Sad lah, now I have to rely on other people's camera.

A small bunch of friends, on foreign soil, without adult supervision (hey we're almost adult ouselves), so why am I wishing I could just stay at home tomorrow?

* * * * *

I thought when the last paper was handed in, it'd be like going through a magical moment, angels would descend and start singing, birds would fly in and start chirping.

But nothing happend.

So SPM's over!

(I'd hate to be SPM. People get all fustrated when you're near, and start rejoicing like WHAT when you're gone.)

Smile.

I had the biggest fight with my mom an hour ago.

It was kind of like the sum of all fights, where both of us started bringing up fights we've had over the past, oh I dunno, five years or so, and began arguing who was right and who was wrong.

You know it's gotten to the most extreme degree when your mom says, "You could die and I wouldn't even care."

She has never said anything like that before, and she probably doesn't mean it, but it obviously hurts a lot more than when a friend tells you she thinks you're mean or when someone says you're cocky.

I've not felt this shitty in a very long time.

I don't know why it even started, we were having dinner and everything was going well.

This is probably the kind of dirty laundry I shouldn't air, but I couldn't concentrate on studying right now, I feel like shit.

So what now, we're going to pretend not to see each other later tonight?

Sigh.

(Came online, talked to the worry-free person who thinks studying Biology is like going to the toilet and doing your big buisiness, important but can be put off till later, and now I feel better.)

Welcome, fellow Graduates!

In that list of "Most Memorable Days Ever", "Graduations" are up there, somewhere between "Wedding" and "The Day I Become A Nobel Prize Laureatte". (One can always dream!)

So technically speaking, today's one of the Most Memorable Days of our lives.

We're GRADUATING yo!

Because of that, I will stop being my whiny self long enough to be emo a bit.

I WILL MISS ALL OF YOU. No no don't raise that skeptical eyebrow I MOST DEF WILL!

Every single person I saw today, I had to go thinking, My Gawd will this be the last time?

Every single thing I did, go canteen buy water la, berhimpun at tapak la, I have to think, Is this the last time?

So yes, I will miss high school A LOT.
I think, I used to complain about my class, I used to get up in the morning thinking of some legitimate excuse for skipping school, I used to wonder just how long will chinese period end.

After perhimpunan I'd be wishing for recess, after recess I'd be wishing for the last bell to ring.

Now I wish I hadn't wished all of those things.

School seemed ultra-fun now, school seemed like the only place you look forward to go to!

NOW, I wish I had a few more days with these people!



That, is FiveScienceSix in its full glory.

(Look at a certain KT trying to steal the lime light! Hahah.)

Together we busied ourselves with wondering when Chinese period would end, instead of actually paying attention to Pn. Ang's boring stories of dead kings and poets, we secretly rooted for victims of Manwir (Jiu Hwei!) when her PPMS (Perpetual Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) effects were manifesting,
we copied Maths homework that originated from ONE person (and later we got lazy and stopped doing altogether), and we somehow convinced ourselves Hardev wasn't actually in front of the class, teaching.

So yeah, I will miss 5S6.

AND, I will miss these people too.



Eight people, eight amazing characters, and a WHOLE LOT of wonderful memories for keeps.

"Big Head Eight", so spontaneously weird, so US!

From monkey-dancing the evening away at Fui's party, to locking ourselves in the store room during free periods and monkey-danced there, to star gazing at a certain beach and celebrating a special person's birthday in a rundown hotel room afterwards (and eating cake in a pretty disgusting way), to practically ORDERING our class to participate in our "Guardian Angel" game (which was a success, if I do say so myself!).

Right, unless I actually get a scholarship to a United World College (which Spam thinks is pretty very hard to do), I think I'll still be seeing you guys a lot after graduation.

After NS lah of course.

I couldn't forget these people either.


(We don't seem to be smiling very broadly, I dunno why also. But we ARE happy, you can count on that!)

Recess buddies all the way back since Form 2, recess was like the superglue that glued us together, since we no longer were in the same class after that.

AAAAHH look at the transition that has happened, we used to talk about crushes and girlie-giggly stuff back then, now we've matured SO MUCH (or so I feel).

I think, I want to give you guys the biggest bear hug, and squeeze the daylights outta you!

Of course, with most of my time spent in class, I couldn't forget these weird, often perverted ('cept Lei and myself) people.


(Despite much practice, EuJoe still has that blur look in every photo!)

They're weird because they play fantasy football where they score impossible goals, they conjure up plans to kidnap the Prime Minister's daughter so as to get a million Ringgit, and they started an imaginary band with the most stupid name (with proper signed contracts to boot).

Thay also (happily) gave us lessons regarding all things sexual. (You know when you have questions about males that you wonder about often but have no guts to ask just any guy off the street? Yeah, those.)
(Most times we don't ask, they voluntarily provide the info.)

* * * * *

Other than the above, there are a whole lot of other people I would miss a lot!

Like the girl who sticks up for her friends no matter what;
like the soft-spoken 'rabbit';
like Wolfie ("Foxie" and "Wolfie", how could they?!);
like my ex-study-buddy who used to keep calling me 'sien ren' (ahh I miss those times!);
like the girl I've known for such a long time whom I really really like, but I don't think she knoes it (you're the one who memorizes literature texts. Yes you!);
classmates like the most handsome girl in school ("Jiao wo shuai ge la! Jiao la!");
the guy whose jokes I learnt to understand (his caption IS a compliment la, he's one of the funniest person I know);
like the person whom I used to be close to in Form 3 (I do not forget friends!);
like our very own David Blaine;
like the girl whom I've been classmates with for seven years;
like the person who'd always insist I'm really a boy (meh. You're very much like a girl yourself);
like the person who drove me to the library (and unfortunately I couldn't join him for later study sessions);
like the always-enthusiastic girl (you'd think she had more than her usual fix of sugar);
like the girl who always has clever, witty comebacks (and the only other person I know who likes green - GREEEEEN?!);
like the guy who hates Marilyn Manson (thinks he's a devil worshipper, which he isn't by the way) that we'd have countless musical debates;
like YOU, for reading this.
Hahah.

(As I was writing that, I had the sweetest SMS from BigFeetWithOctopusArms. Things like these get me all emo-emo again.)

* * * * *

I'd like to end this post with a bunch of inspiring words, but I'm not very good at writing inspiring stuff, so I'll leave it to Dr. Seuss instead.

He is, after all, one of the greatest children's author ever.

(Right, you read this, and pretend it's written by me okay?)



Oh, the Places You'll Go!

by Dr. Seuss


Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

* * * * *

So this is it. The end.

Never able to sit in class and wait for the teacher to come in.

Never able to make up an excuse for not handing in your homework.

Never able to walk to other classes looking for your friends.

On the other hand,

This is it!

The exams, the holidays, then THE COLLEGE!

The adulthood!

The responsibilities that aren't REAL responsibilities yet!

Being able to buy cigarettes! (Just because you're able to do it, doesn't mean you have to, okay.)

Being able to stick your nose up in the air when someone talks to you like a child and say, "I AM AN ADULT! HEAR ME ROAR!" -rwoawrr-

* * * * *

I'm taking a short hiatus. I cannot continue like this any longer.

MUST STUDY.

If you see any new posts after this, be the helpful blog-reader and do whatever it takes to discourage me from blogging anymore okay?

My future depends on this.

If my future turns bleak all of a sudden (i.e. the minute the SPM results are out), I wouldn't want to have to say the blog readers were to blame.

Ciao.

(By the way, seeing as I'm hoping to not blog anymore, I shall now say, GOOD LUCK everyone! Break a leg y'all!)

Please, last-minute exam-eve late-night cramming okay? It'll do you more harm than good.


Ciao #2.


Message to self : Please study, please please PLEASE study! Please don't get distracted! Please please PLEASE STUDY!
(Self-begging as a last resort)



Last and final, ciao #3.

Artsy-fartsy I am not.

Yeah, so this is the most recent revelation, that is both dissapointing and... well, it's just plain dissappointing. And deppressing.

I, Chooiyen, am music illiterate, I am not "up-there" enough to appreciate classical music, and I suck at musical instruments.

Yeah-huh.

And it doesn't help that my own brother is one of the artsy-fartsiest person I've ever known.

I shall now proceed to publish my rare Full-Of-Photos Post, because a picture is worth a thousand words (or whatever it is they would say). In any case, at least it saves me from having to write a few thousand words (which I'm too lazy to write anyway).

So here they are, reasons why I am the music illiterate I am now.



These, are the CDs of music that I never appreciated. They pretty much consist of chamber music, instrumental music, classical music, opera and a bunch of other stuff.

They aren't the only ones though, because my brother asked for most of them to be sent to Hawaii, which my mom so obediently lovingly obliged.
(He's studying Art Education in Hawaii, where he's doing sculptures and paintings and all that artsy stuff.)

I used to think him weird, 'cause when he listens to his CDs, he'd get so into it that he'd swing his arms around, à la orchestra-conductor.

And, he's the only person I know who can ever appreciate something like this...



That's cello music. My mom likened it to the background music for when some psycho in the movies is trying to torture a cat / innocent people / himself.

Yes, I never learned to appreciate fine music.

My brother knew the music and history of Bach and Dvorak by heart.

I, on the other hand, knew the lyrics to these by heart.



"Because you don't know us at all,
we laugh when old people fall,
but what would you expect with a conscience so small?"

Yeah, matured.

I feel so small now.

Moving on,



these, are the taugeh music words that I never learned to read.

The one on the left is my brother's classical guitar exam pieces.
The one on the right is the book given to me by my first guitar instructer, which I happily discarded to the back of the closet when I switched teachers.

My second instructer, hahaha how can I put it, was funny. Both haha-funny and weird-funny.

He had HUGE fingers, they reminded me of sausages, with the ends slightly squared instead of round, which makes barring frets pretty easy for him. Heck, his one finger could have covered two whole frets (okay exaggerate just a bit), but his fingers were really THAT wide.

So me, being 15 and having skinny + short fingers, found barring pretty difficult.

It was irritating 'cause he'd always, always go, "Huh? Very hard meh? What's so hard? Very hard meh??" and proceed to give me that I AM SO CONFUSED, WHY CAN YOU NOT PLAY PROPERLY, VERY HARD MEHHH kind of look.
(Haha, ChuanLing would be nodding her head if she was reading this.)

Anyway, it has been a long time since I last picked up the guitar.

Now I can only read tabs, not taugeh words. HOW SAD IS THAT.

Then, we have this..



This, is the piano that I never learned how to play.

I don't know of anybody who has lived with a piano in the house ever since she was young, and is not able to play it.

That was bought for my brother, by the way. See, it's always him.

I so so so so so regret not taking lessons. How I wish I could play a proper song on it.

It is not very girly-like to not be able to play the piano, or any sort of keyboard instrument for that matter. I mean, more than three quarters of the girls I know can play a tune on it.

Don't laugh okay, but I am kind of thinking of picking it up after The Exams.

Mostly because I read this on the net.

"We sit down to eat and (Sidney Corbett) starts telling me about his transition from a self-taught guitarist and music illiterate at age 17 to a PhD composition graduate from Yale at 25. Although he always doubted his musical abilities, he seemed to breeze through exams and was even awarded the Fulbright scholarship to go to the Hamburg University for Music."

Weeell. Maybe I could make the transition too, hur hur hur! Anyhow.

Moving on.



These, are the brochures from orchestras that I never learned to enjoy.

Yes, those were my brother's. Told you he was the artsy one in the family. No one else I knew would pay to go to an orchestra. A rock concert, yes, but not an orchestra.

The earlist brochures thingie I found amongst the stack were a few from the 99/00 season. Which meant my brother started donning suits and ties and paying to go to the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra at the age of 15. And he goes pretty often too, hence the large stack of brochure thingies.

FIFTEEN!

At 14, I was getting high during a Linkin Park concert.

At 16, I suffered from extreme humidity and being in close (CLOSE!) proximity to the other fellow concert-goers (touch here touch there, eww) during a Simple Plan show.

But I never went to an orchestra show before.

(Is the orchestra the band of musicians, or is that what the entire show is called? Or is it what the compositions are called? Is it it all of them?)

Nevermind.

Now we have this.



This, is the drum solo that I was never good enough to be able to play.

I was too lazy to stick around long enough to be able to play and wow people. I guess you could say, I was never the patient, ever-ready-to-learn student that I should've been.

Even during guitar lessons, my teacher would have me go home and practice on a piece.

I'd come back the next week, still screwing up parts that I shouldn't be screwing up anymore.

"You got practice or not?"

(Sheepish smile) "Eheh, no wor. No time la."

GAAH.

But then again, I might have been more motivated to practice if only my AMPS weren't so CACAT-ED.



See that amplifier? See that red wire there?

It has a life of its own, and it is very prone to very random mood swings. It's true I tell you.

Halfway through your playing, it will decide to give you the silent treatment, and nothing would come out of them speakers.

So you have to console it, sweet talk it, gently and soothingly move the wire around for a bit, before it finally relents and decide to talk to you again. Or sing out the tune you were playing on the guitar.

Back then Chuan Ling used to come over with her guitar so we could play together. Don't think having guests meant the amp would behave itself.

I remember us playing, and then my guitar going silent all of a sudden, and so one of us would go over to the amps, twist the red wire a bit, unplug it from the amps, then plug it in again, all in the efforts of trying to have it working again.

"Eh twist it more... more! No sound la. Still no sound. No sound at all. EHH! Got sound!!...... Eh? no sound again."

Shitty.

And when it finally worked, whoever using the electric guitar would try very very hard to not move it too much.

'Cause moving it too much would mean untwisting the red wire from whatever random position it would decide only to work in, and then we would have to go through the whole rigmarole of "Twist again! No sound! Got sound already! Eh no sound again!".

Yeah, pathetic. Really pathetic.

My brother, on the other hand, wanted to buy a classical guitar worth thousands of Ringgit, which my parents obediently lovingly obliged.

Unfair hor.

Back to why I am very un-intellectual-like.



These, are the books that my brother read / magazines that he subscribed to.

The yellows ones on the right are very obviously National Geographic. What else would my artsy-fartsy brother subscribe to? Galaxie? Lime? CelebritySecretsRevealed?

He was only 11 when he asked to subscribe to National Geographic, which my parent obediently lovingly obliged to.

Me? I wanted to subscribe to Reader's Digest last year, and my mom had to keep asking me, "You sure you want? You got read or not? Subscribe already don't read, afterwards waste money. YOU SURE YOU WANT?"

YES I AM SURE. And yes we do have a subscription to Reader's Digest.

Anyway.

While my brother was reading books like "Sceintific Genius" and encyclopedias (yes, he actually read the entire volume), I was reading this.



Yes I had better children's books than these lot, otherwise I'd be pretty pathetic.

By the time my brother was 17, he had already read AND UNDERSTOOD "A Brief History Of Time".

It is THE book ordinary people with ordinary intelligence and ordinary IQ like myself wouldn't TRULY understand.

As for me, I'm 17, and just yesterday I was flipping through Roald Dahl's "The BFG".

Weeeell, I kind of found my hard cover copy of it, and hard covers are better than paperbacks, and it's nicer to read too.

Plus, I needed a break from school textbooks (*disgusted look).

Proves just how intellectual I am. (NOT AT ALL.)

I want to dress in elegant gowns and play one of Beethoven's greatest Symphonies on the grandest of grand pianos in front of an elite crowd of 'high society' people, and when I'm done everyone will cheer and clap in their elegant, high society way and I'll move on to the most elite and the highest of the high society people and proceed to have the most intelligent conversation ever. We'll discuss deep, meaningful topics like the Meaning Of Life and all that.

I want to be an artsy-fartsy intellect toooooooooooooooo!

P.S. My use of "artsy-fartsy" is in a good way. Not the showy, pretentious kind of way!

So long, Farewell, auf weidersehen, goodbye!

My first post on the new machine!

My old one was waaaay too old, and I'd be embarrassed if anybody ever sees it. Lock it up and hide it away, I say.

New machines take a little while to get used to, 'cause me being me, I clog my desktop up with weird stuff and I've got more folders than everyone in the house combined. Now everything's so totally empty.

It's pretty cool, 'cause my dad got us a few extra stuff to go with it.

[I say 'machine' and I mean 'computer'. Saying 'my computer' only makes me think of the little icon at the top left corner of your desktop.]

* * * * *

Yesterday late afternoon -

We went to this huge fabric shop, and we were walking around looking for good fabric for the cushions and curtains, when I recieved a message from Michelle.

"....................... High school's ending soon, unsure if all of us will go out together again..............."

Now, I'm the kind of person who's blissfully living in denial, just that morning I was telling a totally stressed out friend not to worry 'cause SPM's a long, long time away, and in my sad little mind, I still have a whole lot of time to while away and enjoy myself and not study/do homework.

The way I've been seeing it, the end of the year is still far, faaaaaar away.

That message was kind of like a slap to the face, like, ohmygoodness we are leaving soon.

And nothing would be a better indication to that than LKT's very own Farewell party, for the seniors. (And then someone would interrupt and say, 'NO, EX-seniors!')

I was being a bit of a stupidhead, 'cause I whipped out my camera when the night was about to end, but OH SO FORTUNATELY, I managed to get some shots.

Group photo!

Group photo number two!
(I obviously stole this from Michelle's blog. It's stupid 'cause it'd be like I'm assuming people who read my blog, doesn't read hers. And vice versa. But it's such a nice photo!)

And because she's my favourite junior...
Hui Xian and I!

My other junior, called me his 'so-called senior who doesn't do anything', y'know, 'cause he didn't do anything and I didn't make him do anything and he still passed. Pfffft.

Yang terakhir,
Ex-seniors. They had their BBQ farewell last year, and they're still not letting go of LKT.

We were a little late to leave 'cause people were busy taking photos, and my parents got pretty pissed. My mom was even more unhappy when she realized I was sitting in the car, in my wet-ish clothes.

See, lately she's been catching me with all the wrong things I've been doing, like being real quiet and letting her think I'm upstairs, studying, when in fact I'm upstairs, surfing the net.

She was even more unhappy when I told her I was skipping school on Monday. (For a pretty good reason okay.)

"Got important lessons on Monday?"

"Dun have lah. Moral, English, that kind of thing only."

Which is complete cow dung, 'cause got Biology and Chemistry la.

P/S. Haha, Michelle, you can drive now! Nice being 17 eh?

My momma has her own day!

Answer to the Big Question: Yes Peeled Garlic is still alive and well!

Well, I finally came online today, and did a bit of browsing, and realized that my counter had zero visits logged for the last two days. Absolutely zilch.

I totally panicked, 'cause (wait for it!).... I thought everyone was too busy studying to come online. My, am I kiasu.

But thank goodness that it was only because my blog wasn't working. (No Lu, it's not just you, haha.) But it's nothing a new test post couldn't fix.

* * * * *

But that is not the point of this post.

I am here to lament that, my family is totally inconsiderate, but not quite in the bad sense. See, it is the exam period now, and my mom made me stop going online, just so I spend more time studying.

So fine, I take a thorough bath, which is All-Important when it comes to the transition from Procrastinating-not-quite-studying, to Totally-focused-knowledge-absorber.

Then I studied.

And the next thing you know, "Yeeeen! Wanna go out eat dim sum or not?"

And you know, when a family goes out to eat, there's no such thing as a quick meal. After our meal, my mom has to decide to go - mother of all time consumers, grocery shopping. Time consuming, because no grocery shopping session lasts less than two hours.

So we come back, and I continued studying.

"Yeeeeen! I wanna go OUG visit popo, then later take her to dinner, come along ah!"

But I haven't finished this chapter yet, really must go meh! Why you always wait until I got a lot of stuff to do only start making plans? Why you always like thaaaaat? (Inner protest. Hell hath no fury like a mother scorned.)

But then it turned out, my grandma was at my 'mm kau fu's house. So fine, no dinner with popo then.

But don't think my mom has stopped making plans.

"Popo not having dinner with us, then we go by ourselves la!"

So we went to Uptown, 'cause we've not been there since forever, where I had the wierdest fish n' chips ever. It was basically breaded kerapu drenched in - get this, white mushroom and black pepper sauce.

Everybody knows I'm a very, very slow eater, so by the time I was almost done, the breaded fish had gone all soggy from the sauces. But the white mushroom sauce is pretty nice, if you have it with your fries.

After dinner, we went to Secret Recipe and got my mom a Mother's Day Cake. (If you happened to have hung out with me today, chances are I'd have told you that I wanted to make a cake for my mom, but she went ahead and ruined her own surprise - and she doesn't even know it.)

Chocolate banana. Mmmmmmm.

What happened over at Secret Recipe's:

Mom : I think, better not buy whole cake, too much for us to finish.
Staff : We're giving out a free Mother's Day gift with every purchase of a whole cake.
Mom : Okay, then buy whole cake!
Dad : (Eyes indicated price) Who's paying?
Everyone else : (Intentionally ignores dad.)
Staff : What would you like written on top?
Mom : Uh, no need lah.
Staff : No? Not even "Happy Mother's Day"?
Mom : Oh, okay laaah.... Put "Happy Mother's Day"! (Shrill laughs, pretends to be paiseh.)

So we got our cake, and we went home. Then we had a simple celebration, and we took photos.



That is my mommy. And that is a candle from a pack of candles we found while rumaging throuh the one of the drawers.

Our cake ended up looking like the face of a pork-marked guy, which is pretty gross, 'cause initially I had more candles on it, but my mom insisted one candle would suffice, so I took the candles off, and there were holes on the cake, so we kind of smeared the cream in an attempt to cover the hole.

We sang a Mother's Day song, which was really the birthday song, modified.

Mother's Day celebrations are always kept simple, 'cause my mom has her birthday at the end of May. Which is, pretty soon.

I was talking to a close friend today, and she said that she finally greeted her mom a happy Mom's Day today. She said she did it late, 'cause she didn't quite have the courage to say it yesterday. Then I realize, I get pretty shy over things like these, too. (Well I didn't just realize, I pretty much knew it all along.)

It's not like me to go up to my om and say, "I love you", then proceed to give her a bear hug and a kiss.

But that doesn't mean I love her any less.

Digressed!

So anyway, we got home, celebrated Mother's Day, and we cleaned up. The next thing I knew, my mom and sis wanted to watch a movie. And it just had to be the movie I borrowed off a classmate. So I obviously had to watch with it them.

So how much have I studied over the 3 day weekend?

Not much, I have to say. Which pretty much explains the panic of not getting any visitors (how can I not study when everyone else is?)

My family, providing distractions after distractions, and my mom still happily goes, "You don't seem much interested in your studies anymore."

Well. Happy Mother's Day. I really gotta go study now.

Dusun Eco, gimme mo'!

Good news, y'all - Chooiyen has finally half-conquered her fear of moths!

Yes, after 3 days of living in a moth/bigbee/weirdinsect infected place, I no longer feel the need to run far awy when a moth flies my way.

You know it's a huge thing, 'cause I'm the girl who squeals/screams in the middle of class when a moth flutters around her. That resulted in Manwir going, "It's JUST a butterfly!"
But just a butterfly it was not.

Yeah, the trip was awesome. Admittedly, on the first day, I wanted to slap myself for coming, because the place was disgusting. I've never been to toilets this eeew. I remember watching Ms.T. eating her slice of watermelon in the school toilet near the labs, and I thought that took guts. But that's nothing compared to having to bathe in Dusun Eco bathrooms.

The bathrooms look as though someone had very liberally sprinkled dead moths and insects all over the floor. You know, just like how you sprinkle sugar on buttered toast. Then there are the live moths and insects, on the walls, on the floors, flying all over. /shudder/

Yes, I really missed my (clean) bed, I missed my (clean) room, I missed my (clean) bathroom. Bottomline, I really missed cleanliness.

But then things got better, and better, and when it was time to leave, I so badly wanted to stay.

I obstacle-coarse-ed under the rain, jungle trekked three whole hours, had my hand bleed from tying the ropes for our raft, rowed across the lake in a raft that was half sinking, treasure-hunted in the dark with a torchlight, wall-climbed, flyiing-foxed, and mentally wrote an essay while crossing the high bridge ('cause singing didn't work).

I didn't see the point in whipping out my camera for group photos when already a handful of people have had their cameras out, so I'm hoping that these people would upload the photos. Not a very subtle hint, eh? (Am especially looking forward to the photos during the water rafting!)

I enjoyed the trip a whole lot, mostly because we had all these activities to take our minds off things, all these wonderful people to keep us company, and because all we had to worry about throughout the 3 days were to choose the cleanest bathroom cubicles, and to have as little bodily contact with disdusting insects as possible.

I mean, it didn't even feel like "just a weekend sandwiched between two schooling weeks".

Returning back to school on tuesday, was like picking up all the worries you had put down and forgotten about during the trip. Slam! and bamm!, you're no longer worry-free and having tons of fun.

Well. Pn. Tan Lin reprimanded Mr.William for not being with the debators that weekend. But Mr.William was busy taking extra good care of us! It's a good thing the debators got through to the octofinals though, it'd be so much worse for Mr.William if they didn't. Honestly, Mr.William has got to be one of the best teachers in CHS ever.

Weeeeell. I do have photos, I might put them up later, when I think of a way of putting them up without posting a whole load of them with only one-liners underneath. Photos do speak a thousand words, but it's not good when they make us seem cam-whore-ish.

'Till the next post, ciao!

Of stoners and spirits. Or not.

'Twas a boring Saturday, a Saturday like all other Saturdays, only thing is it was a Saturday sandwiched between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

Chooiyen was enjoying her new CD, when she spotted this photo album she got at the RM5 shop a while ago. She started flipping through it, yeah, looked through the photos taken two years ago with her old film camera.

And she came across this photo, one which she has always thought came out quite nice.





It may not look like it, but it's actually a very candid shot. Heck, I wasn't even conscious of their, um, poses. It was a spontaneous snapshot.

Chooiyen thinks they could look like a couple of things, e.g:

1. Doing a photoshoot for an album cover, preferably a boyband album

2. Completely stoned. (Y'know, stoners hiding in an abondon building and all. Check out that old headboard!)

3. So very yeng!

Chooiyen thinks it's number 3. She really likes it a lot!
(Why am I only the photographer, and not in it?!)

* * * * *

We were talking about ghosts and spirits over lunch (we being my mom, my sister and I). My aunt died of cancer last April, and my mom said that the period after my aunt died and before the day of cremation, my mom kept getting this hospital smell in our house, especially in the masterbedroom.

My uncles and other aunts kept getting the same smell, too. It wasn't until my aunt was cremated that the smell finally went away. My relatives think that it was my aunt, visiting them for the last few times, before finally truly 'leaving'.

But then I found out something pretty disturbing.

Apparently, I saw spirits when I was younger.

I was really young then. My mom came back one night, and I told her that when I was doing my homework some time in the evening, a man came over and looked at me. Then he started looking through my homework. Apparently, I told her I couldn't really see who it was, but could tell it was a man. But there wasn't any man at our house then, only my maid and I.

Guess what. My mom only just came back that night, from my grandfather's funeral.

I don' remember anything like that, that's what my mom told me.

Yeah, my grandfather. I don't care what you say, it can be my grandfather or someone else's grandfather, I still thnk it's spooky. I keep reading things like that in the Singapore True Ghosts Stories series, uhhh, never thought I had actually gone through the same thing.

But it's still pretty, um, touching(?). I mean, my grandfather and I were never really close. In fact, I don't think we've had more than, say, 40 dialouges while he was still here. Much, much fewer than 40 even, I think.

He might've visited all my cousins, I don't know. But I'm pretty touched that he bothered to check on me. That's what my mother said he was doing. And how come he didn't visit my sister, or my brother.

I really (really) hope it was my gong gong. It'd be really sweet if it really was him. I'd rather not think of that other possibility.

Uh, still pretty creeped out.

A bit of today

My night was spent saving photos into Pn. Tan's notebook for the slideshow tomorrow. And I was browsing through some of our photos, and I realize, DARN my friends are unfair!

I came accross a few photos, which I remember prior to taking the photo, all of us agreed to "act kawaii" or "lan yeng", until very ugly. So Chuan Ling and I memang go and act kawaii and lan yeng.

Problem is, only both of us posed like that. All the others leh, when say wanna purposely act ugly, they say okay, then.. their pictures all come out also sweet sweet smiles wan.

Especially the ones taken in Kim Chew's place.

I would post them up here, but Chuan Ling and I really look very stupid. I don't wanna throw my own face. But the others, all look very nice.

See what I mean?

Anyway, we did that Program Maju Diri thing at the Lecture Hall today. And I discovered a new job that sounds interesting.

A librettist. A person who writes a libretto. Which is "the text of a dramatic musical work, such as an opera or musical".

But then again, a close friend of mine would be quick to remind me that it doesn't pay much. Yeah, you don't get a lot of money from it.

Or as my mom so aptly put it, "Just enough to own a Proton Saga. Not Mercedes Benz."

cL's blog

Hey, have you guys noticed that new link I've added?

Yeah, the one to Chuan Ling's blog.

Adding new links isn't such a big deal to me, unless they are links to sites like Chuan Ling's. You guys have got to check it out.

If her old blog-city is an indication of how her new Blogger will be, it will be full of shit. But they are all FUNNY shit.

And if there's one thing I admire about her blogging, it is the fact that she blogs however and whatever she wants to. But that makes her posts LAME. That is also why none of her sentences are longer than 5 words. Because Chuan Ling is weird like that.

See, both Chuan Ling and Zi Hui are extremely proficient in mandarin, but spot the difference between both their blogs. One blogs about deep, tear-wrenching stuff in mandarin; the other blogs about, well, uber crap, in mandarin.

But both, you really gotta read. 'Cause they're both very nice.

Puzzle pieces

Okay, okay. This was one post I had written more than a month ago, but figured it was too eww to publish. But now I've decided that if I were to let a little bit of eww-ness stop me from doing something, I would probably be a failure by the time I grow up. So here it is. Don't gag.

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I was channel surfing a couple of hours ago, and came across that Westlife's rendition of 'You Raise Me Up'. I know that song a lot of people like la, but I've never really paid much attention to it.
Until just now.

"You raise me up, to more than I can be."

My gawd how that line got to me.

Then I came online, and saw that post on that blog of that friend of mine. Which I read and teared up over.
There was one teeny tiny line that almost floored me.

"But it never seemed to have that kinda bond the 8 of us shared."
(Haha, that's not copyrighted, is it?)

I admit. People get jealous once in a while. Envy is one seventh of the seven deadly sins. But friends get jealous, you know? Friends never want to see friends go away like that, with a whole other bunch of people. Friends want friends to have a good life, to get to know as many people in the world as they possibly can, no doubt about that, but friends are selfish too, sometimes =)

This reminded me of an essay some person wrote. I don't usually remember random essays of other people, in fact I don't even remember essays that I wrote, but this one, for some reason, stuck to me.

It was an essay on friends and friendship. I've never seen anyone describe friendship like that, but it made a lot of sense when you think about it.

Friends are like jigsaw puzzles. The bits and pieces are put together, and the outcome, a beautiful picture. Like friends. Each individual eventually make up who and what you are right now. And with the absence of even just ONE individual, well, you're left with that blank in your puzzle. It probably would never be complete then. And really, how beautiful can your puzzle be when important pieces are missing?

Anyway, back to Josh Groban's Westlife's song.

"You raise me up, to more that I can be." That line really means something, doesn't it?

'Cause really, how many times have you felt extremely shitty, because you didn't think you were good enough for anything, because you felt like an utter failure, because nobody seemed to pay much attention to you?

I have, more than just once.

And how many times have your friends been there for you, and eventhough the things they say seem a bit silly, and you know some of them aren't even half true, they somehow still seem to make you feel good about yourself once more.

I remember feeling extremely humiliated and unimportant just downright shitty about myself a few months back, and a friend of mine dropped what she was doing right away and stayed with me. By the end of the hour, I felt like I could take on anything again. I had a want of proving what I was worth.

If it weren't for her, I probably would have continued being a sorry ass wallowing in self pity, and the entire situation would have been worse.

And how many times have your friends helped you realize your true potential? If it weren't for them you probably wouldn't have the guts to do half the things you're doing now.

Indeed, friends do raise you up to more than you can ever be.

I've got to say, my puzzle has been beautiful so far. And I'd thank a few special pieces for not going missing!

6 reasons why

Six reasons why I absolutely LOVE these people:

#1. We know we've got support, ALWAYS.























We know someone's always below, keeping us from sinking. Something like that. You've got my back, I've got yours.



#2. They let me be King during our war games.
It doesn't matter that even my own subjects (StupidLing being one of them) gang up with the enemies and kill me. We absolutely love role playing games! (And I don't mean the computer kind!)

















From left:
-ChuanLing the Maggi Hot Cup, "menggoda enemies wan"
-Marvi, the second most honoured soldier (who was the first, I forgot)
-Li-Ann the Durian, "eat people wan"
-EngFui the Princess
-ZiHui, the Most Setia Soldier
-Chooiyen, KING!
-Shiyunn (shit my memory fails me)
-Ivy, the Wicked Witch

No prizes for guessing who came up with these weird characters. 'Cause she gets the best role, which is the Princess. But Fish, why the hell would a king like me with my country under attack need a Maggi HotCup for?! To menggoda the enemies and distract them la. ShiYunn was also equipped with MaggiHotCup. Both were my not-so-loyal subjects. No wonder I lost the war. Li-Ann very charm, human-eating durian? What the Fish is that.



#3. We've SLEPT together before (?)
Nothing gets you closer to someone than to have their sleeping habits exposed to you!

















(It would've looked so much better if CharlotteBoy was in the photo.)

Though surprisingly, this year, the one who usually woke up last during our previous sleep-togethers became the early riser, and the USUAL early risers, well, you know la.



#4. We DANCED in the rain together.
Okay la, it was raining and we had no umbrellas, but Fish, no one had to know that =)

















Though to be fair, we DID sing and dance. Not in the rain, but under the moonlight, which is so much more romantic! This is where Toploader's Dancing In The Moonlight comes to mind.
"Everybody's feelin' warm and bright. You just can't dance and stay uptight!"

One day, we HAVE to learn the words to Wake Me Up When September Ends.
So we won't have to go "na na na na na na na na na na.... WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS!
na na na na na na na na na na.. WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS!
na na na na na na na....."
It would be so much for fun if we could sing the whole song!



#5. In unison now: We look like char siews!
Especially in this photo:

















Yeah, it's the camera. Some other photos turned out like this, too. We look like the red char siew you get when you order wantan mee. Especially Marvi and I. Gosh.

Darn Zihui's camera la.



#6. We've encountered REVELATIONS together.
Need proof?















I'm aware I look somewhat dumb, but who cares, 'cause Fish I like this photo!

An enlightening disclosure. We had no idea ChuanLing had such HUGE eyes (bet BigFeet's feet are bigger!), or that she looked so much like Fui.








StupidLing trying to imitate Fui. Dumbass. They look so friggin' cute together!


Yes, THAT is why I love these people!



Okay, I admit. This post with all these pictures is just my lame attempt at justifying that RM165 we paid for the trip.
It wasn't as good as our previous trips, only because past couple of years we've had TOO much fun. You can't expect every year to be THAT good, can you?

Next year though, we'll avoid trips with tours and carefully scheduled itinerary.
AND, trips with teacher chaperones. =)



Here's something irrelevant to the post, completely random. Because I like randomness, remember?

















A few random people in random poses against a completely random backdrop.
I say random because I have no inkling of when and why and how we came to be doing that. Or why Ivy was looking at us like that.
Despite the fact that this photo was so random, it came out quite unusual. We all looked like carefully placed mannequins, to me at least.

And THAT, sums this post up!

Having your parents read your diary is the most WRONG thing, ever!

I did probably THE most stupid thing as compared to the other stuid things I've done the whole of this year.

I was in school, and I asked my dad to bring me my cellphone when he comes in the afternoon.

After the break in few months ago whereby my then somewhat brand new digital camera was stolen, I have come to learn that burglars tend to grab whatever is in plain sight first (which of course, has to be of certain value). So you can be sure you won't see my cellphone lying around where it is easily accessible.

I forgot to tell my dad where my phone was. And not being able to find it, he called my phone, and tracked down where that MP3 ringtone was coming from.

I almost freaked out when I came home and realize that my JOURNALS was right next to where my phone was. It was supposed to be a secret place, dammit! Now my dad knows I keep journals, and also where I keep them.

But what really bothers me is that my dad, who is often really curious about everything to the point that he becomes somewhat of a busybody, most likely will not be able to resist peeking into one of my journals. So much more when my journals are handmade, thick, cover-less, weird looking and stick out like a sore thumb among all my school exercise books and paperback novels. And it's filled with the most intricate details of my personal life. Yeah, it's that enticing and hard to resist.

How leh? I know my sister has read it, but that's different. It's my FATHER we're talking about now. He probably knows my innermost secrets, and THAT is a disturbing thought.

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Still, today was a pleasant day. I left home with RM48.52 in my wallet this morning. And came home with a total of only RM0.02. The only reason I still have the two cents is because I couldn't do anything with two cents.

That is a lot of money, considering the fact that I did not buy clothes or CDs or stuff people usually spend money on. Fish, I almost didn't have the money for my transport home!

Seeing that it's the holidays and there would be no allowance, and seeing that I keep forgetting to NOT spend when I go out, I have no idea how I am going to pay for youth camp this December.